6 Signs of a Soul Tie and How to Break Toxic Ones

Key Takeaways

• A soul tie is a deep emotional or spiritual bond between two people, which can be healthy or toxic.
• Healthy soul ties make you feel energized, secure, and unconditionally loved.
• Toxic soul ties can cause feelings of jealousy, possessiveness, and codependency.

A soul tie is a deep emotional or spiritual bond that forms between two people, often through close relationships or meaningful interactions. While some soul ties can create lasting and supportive connections, others may keep you attached to unhealthy or toxic relationships that you should break away from to heal and move forward in life.

Getty / Tim Robberts

How to Recognize a Healthy Soul Tie

When two people have formed a healthy and positive soul-tie connection, it can be an incredibly rewarding experience. A healthy soul-tie relationship should enhance your life, not take away from it.

You may have found a positive soul-tie connection if you:

1. Feel energized or inspired when you are around them. How do you feel after spending time with the other person? Do you feel rejuvenated and inspired, or do you find yourself feeling drained or exhausted? A positive soul-tie connection should leave you feeling energized and creative.
2. Feel comfortable and secure in their presence. Do you feel safe with the other person? Do you trust them, and do they inspire confidence in you? Healthy soul ties should create a sense of safety and trust between two people.
3. Don’t feel judged or criticized. Are you comfortable being authentic and vulnerable with the other person? A healthy soul-tie connection should provide an atmosphere where both parties can express themselves openly without fear of judgment or criticism.
4. Respect and admire each other. Do you admire the other person, and do they show respect for you? Healthy soul ties are built on mutual respect and admiration between two people.
5. Feel unconditionally loved and accepted. Do you feel accepted by the other person without condition? A positive soul-tie connection should provide a sense of unconditional love and acceptance from both sides.
6. Understand and empathize with them. Do you feel that the other person truly understands and empathizes with you? A positive soul-tie connection should be one in which both parties can offer each other support, love, and understanding.

Why Do Soul Ties Form?

A soul tie is created when two people have an emotional connection. This connection can be intense or prolonged, such as a romantic relationship, close friendship, or even a strong bond with a mentor.

Four Types of Soul Ties

Soul ties can involve physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects. Such connections can vary in intensity depending on the type of connection and the bond that forms.

1. Physical soul ties may involve physical contact, such as sexual intimacy. However, they can also form through other forms of physical connection, including non-intimate touch.
2. Emotional soul ties involve intense feelings of attachment. These form when people share emotions, vulnerability, and emotional support. They often emerge in close friendships and romantic relationships.
3. Mental soul ties involve close intellectual connections. These are rooted in psychological or intellectual connection and often form through exchanging ideas, stimulating conversations, or solving a shared problem.
4. Spiritual soul ties involve a deep connection to one another’s spirituality or religious beliefs. These can be particularly powerful because they are often connected to a person’s sense of identity and core values.

Soul Tie or Twin Flame?

Though similar, soul ties and twin flames are not the same.

Soul Ties

• A strong emotional or spiritual bond between two people

• Rooted in New Age beliefs; adopted in some Christian teachings

• Can be positive or negative; sometimes tied to toxic or unhealthy dynamics

• Can form with romantic partners, friends, family, or others

• Gained attention in the early 2000s as a way to identify toxic attachments

Twin Flames

• A deep, intense connection believed to come from a shared soul source

• Originates in metaphysical and spiritual teachings

• Typically seen as positive, healing, and growth-oriented

• Usually refers to one unique romantic or spiritual partner

• Gained popularity through spiritual communities

Why Some Soul Ties Can Be Toxic

When a soul tie connection is unhealthy, it can be dangerous and destructive. People who are in an unhealthy soul-tie relationship may experience intense jealousy, possessiveness, and codependency.

They may become overly attached to the other person and struggle to define their identity without them.

In addition, they may feel a sense of emptiness when separated from the other person or find that their life lacks meaning without them.

Some signs that you may be in an unhealthy soul-tie relationship include:

• Feeling anxious when away from the other person for too long
• Becoming overly dependent on the other person for emotional support
• Having difficulty making decisions without the other person’s input
• Feeling jealous or possessive of the other person
• Struggling to define your identity without them
• Feeling drained or exhausted after interacting with them
• Experiencing a sense of emptiness when away from them

How to Break a Soul Tie That’s Hurting You

If you find yourself in an unhealthy soul-tie connection, there are steps you can take to break the tie and restore balance in your life. It is important to remember that healing takes time, so don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t happen overnight.

• Acknowledge the unhealthy soul-tie connection: Take some time to reflect on the relationship and identify what makes it unhealthy or destructive. Identify how this connection has impacted your life negatively and why it needs to be broken.
• Cut off contact: While it may not be easy, one of the first steps in breaking an unhealthy soul-tie connection is cutting off contact with the other person as much as possible. This includes avoiding seeing them in person, removing them from social media, and blocking their number if possible.
• Surround yourself with positive people: Spend time connecting with positive people to help restore your energy and lift your spirits. Seek out relationships that are healthy and supportive, both in person and online. Consider talking to a mental health professional for additional support.
• Practice self-care: Take the time to practice self-care by engaging in activities such as yoga, journaling, or meditation that help you relax and restore balance in your life.
• Rely on a higher power: Connecting with a higher power can help provide strength during difficult times and give you peace of mind knowing that you are not alone in this process of healing.
• Forgive yourself and the other person: One of the most important steps in breaking an unhealthy soul-tie connection is forgiving yourself and the other person. This can be a difficult step, but it’s important to remember that forgiveness is not about condoning someone’s actions, but rather releasing your anger and resentment to move forward with peace and clarity.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

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By Arlin Cuncic, MA

Arlin Cuncic, MA, is the author of The Anxiety Workbook and founder of the website About Social Anxiety. She has a Master’s degree in clinical psychology.

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