Key Takeaways
- Talk to your child’s doctor about medications and strategies to manage excessive talking.
- Work with your child to create a signal to help them stop talking too much.
- Practice social skills with your child to help them take turns in conversations.
Kids tend to talk more when they’re excited. For kids who are naturally energetic, that might mean that talk a lot. Excessive talking is a common trait for kids with ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder).
They tend to talk so much because they often have trouble inhibiting and controlling their responses. They may blurt out whatever first comes to mind (whether it’s appropriate or not) without thinking through how their words may be received.
Kids and adults with ADHD may also monopolize conversations and talk excessively. Some parents might refer to it as “diarrhea of the mouth.” It is like hyperactivity with words.
Talking too much can be hard for kids, parents, and teachers alike. Kids with ADHD may feel embarrassed when other people get annoyed with their talkativeness, while adults and peers may feel like they can’t get a moment’s peace (or a word in edgewise). But there are steps you can take to curb excessive talking and quell inappropriate comments to ensure this common ADHD characteristic does not impact your child’s school and social life.
Getting appropriate support, accommodations, and treatment for your child’s ADHD is an important first step. You can also talk to your child about how to help them manage their talkativeness. This can include offering rewards and providing visual or physical signals when they need to let others have a turn speaking.
Why Kids With ADHD May Talk Too Much
In general, kids with ADHD often have trouble with “too much behavior”—too much talking, humming, noises, movement, fidgeting, wiggling, getting into things, etc.
There’s nothing wrong with being talkative or energetic. The problem is that kids with ADHD struggle to manage these tendencies, particularly in school settings where they are required to take turns or listen instead of talk.
In addition, there are several characteristics of ADHD that may lead to excessive talking.
- Hyperactivity: Hyperactivity may present as physical and/or verbal overactivity, including talking excessively, interrupting others, monopolizing conversations, and not letting others talk.
- Language pragmatics: Talking too much is also related to language pragmatics, or the social use of language. Language problems, including pragmatics, are common in nearly half of children with ADHD.
- Difficulty with social cues: Many kids with ADHD have trouble picking up on and reading social cues, which can make it difficult to take turns in conversations.
- Self-control: ADHD can interfere with a child’s self-control and ability to manage impulsive behaviors, like blurting out comments at inappropriate times.
- Medication: Although not common, one study found that a child with ADHD experienced an increase in verbal output 45 minutes after taking Ritalin (methylphenidate).
Excessive talkativeness often persists into adulthood. Helping kids find ways to manage and express themselves appropriately can help them both now and as they age.
How to Manage Excessive Talking
Coping with overactivity and a lack of self-control can be very frustrating for the child with ADHD. Their lack of impulse control and filtering can be confusing or even off-putting to others who don’t understand the behavior.
Excessive talking may cause children with ADHD to experience rejection from others or be disciplined at school.
That’s why it’s so important to work with your child to manage this difficult symptom. Here are a few options to try if you’re wondering, “How do I get my child to stop talking all the time?”
Talk to Your Child’s Team
The first thing to do is to talk with your child’s doctor, who may want to prescribe or change medications or refer your child to a psychologist or occupational therapist to address excessive talking. If it’s left unaddressed, it may impair your child’s learning and social life.
It’s also important to involve your child’s teacher. Tell them about your child’s excessive talking and share any strategies you’ve found helpful when working on this characteristic.
Problem-Solve With Your Child
The next thing to do is sit down with your child when they are fairly focused and amenable to talking and problem-solving. Address the talking/blurting out issue with them and come up with a plan to reduce the excessive talking. Your child may be interested in setting up a reward system to help motivate this change in behavior.
Together with your child, devise a signal you can give them to help increase their awareness of when they are talking too much.
Perhaps the signal could be you placing your hand on their shoulder as a reminder to stop when they are going on and on. A physical signal, like touching their shoulder, is often stronger than a visual signal, like a finger to the lips, but you may want to try using both signals together.
It might help if you pair the signal with self-talk. In other words, when you place your hand on their shoulder or your finger to your lips, your child says, either out loud or in their head, “I need to stop myself from talking right now” or something similar.
Self-Talk, Modeling, and Feedback Can Help
This self-talk can often be very helpful, especially for kids with ADHD who tend to lag a bit in their ability to use self-talk to guide their behaviors. You’ll need to provide a lot of modeling, feedback, and guidance to help them to develop this skill.
Strengthen Social Skills
Unfortunately, excessive talking can make it hard for kids with ADHD to make and keep friends and be accepted within a larger peer group. When your child is young, you’ll likely need to play the role of “friendship coach,” as you carefully plan playdates and activities that will create opportunities for friendship development.
Before these get-togethers, review and practice some of the basics that can help shape good social skills, including taking turns in conversations, listening, showing interest in the other child, and speaking in a normal tone of voice. Your child’s teacher (and coach or another adult caregiver) can also play a role in social skills training.
How to Manage Inappropriate Comments
For situations in which your child blurts out inappropriate things, teach them how to delay their response by counting to five before making comments, and then practice, practice, practice. This is another new skill that will require a lot of modeling and assistance from you.
Also, it is important to give your child frequent and immediate feedback about their behavior and let them know what they are doing well.
Words of praise combined with strong incentives can be very powerful in motivating a change in behavior.
Tips for Parents and Caregivers
In order to help your child manage their excessive talking, it’s important to be calm and patient. That isn’t always easy when you are stressed, frustrated, and in need of a quiet moment to yourself. Some strategies that can help you cope include:
Set Boundaries and Give Yourself Some Space
If you need a break, give your child a task or project to work on or ask another household member to chat with them while you take a few minutes to yourself.
Create Quiet Zones
Set up a quiet space in the house where the goal is to be silent or speak quietly. This might include a room in your home where kids engage in quiet activities like coloring, reading, or drawing.
Find Healthy Outlets
Everyone needs their own space. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, explore coping strategies that will help you recharge and express yourself. Going for a run, talking to a friend, or engaging in a favorite hobby are a few tactics that might help.
Relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can also help you manage feelings of stress.
