Key Takeaways
- Emotional sobriety is an aspect of addiction recovery that focuses on regulating feelings and learning to face challenges without the use of substances.
- Developing emotional sobriety can support recovery, relationships, and mental health by improving coping and communication skills.
- Emotional sobriety takes ongoing practice and can be supported by healthy routines, relationships, and mental health resources.
Sobriety, however you choose to approach it, is never just about your ability to avoid substances. A key part of recovery is understanding your emotional sobriety, which focuses on learning to cope and manage your emotions without the use of substances.
Although this concept stems from Alcoholics Anonymous, it can be helpful to anyone looking for a more emotionally regulated life, whether you’ve dealt with substance abuse disorders or not.
Understanding the Physical and Emotional Aspects of Recovery
There is no one path to sobriety. Some follow the typical 12-step program popularized by Alcoholics and Narcotics Anonymous. Others practice being California sober, where you abstain from the substance you have a harmful relationship with, but may use others. And then there are those who follow a whole host of other strategies, like attending support groups.
The point is: We often hear about the physical recovery from addiction—the type of journey highlighted by television shows like Intervention or by social media creators like Patrick Ridge. However, according to Vanessa Kennedy, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist and the director of psychology at Driftwood Recovery, another key dimension of successful recovery is a person’s emotional sobriety.
“Emotional sobriety is considered one of the benefits of working the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, but more generally speaking, it’s being at peace with your authentic feelings, sharing them openly when appropriate, and managing them so that they don’t control you,” Kennedy says.
That may sound daunting, especially if you or a loved one are also in the midst of the physically taxing part of recovery. But emotional sobriety is an important part of the journey.
What Is Emotional Sobriety?
Nick Padlo, the CEO of Sophros Recovery, who came to his work after undergoing his own experiences in recovery, says emotional sobriety is “our ability to have balance and healthy coping skills when life gets hard.”
He adds that “beyond just abstinence from substances, we also have to be able to deal with the ebbs and flows of life. Otherwise, we’ll go back to our drug of choice in the end.”
While the discourse around emotional sobriety is keyed on preventing relapse, Padlo connects his time in active addiction with the opposite of emotional sobriety, piling his emotions down deeper and deeper until they had nowhere to go but out.
“For many years, I ignored emotions and suppressed emotions, and I was prone to [being] what we would refer to as an emotional volcano, where you ignore your emotions for so long [until] you can’t anymore,” he says. “You have kind of this overwhelm of emotions, and they all eventually rush up. And, for me, I coped with those challenges through the use of drugs and alcohol.”
What Are the Benefits of Emotional Sobriety?
There is a broad spectrum of benefits to emotional sobriety, whether you are in active addiction, in recovery, or are just seeking new ways to approach your mental health. According to Caroline Sahba, LPC-S, the associate director of the counseling and mental health center at TCU, practicing emotional sobriety can help someone:
Researchers have found that those with substance use disorders tend to be emotionally dysregulated. Working on your emotional sobriety and developing the tools to understand yourself and others can benefit your recovery and relationships.
Plus, understanding and processing your emotions without the barrier of substances is an added benefit in the long run.
How To Cultivate Emotional Sobriety
There are many ways to develop your emotional sobriety. For Padlo, he practiced mindfulness and chose to spend three months studying yoga full-time. This helped him cultivate the innate ability to feel, process, and redirect his emotions, which aided his recovery. Other expert-recommended strategies include:
- Sharing your feelings with someone you feel safe with
- Seeking out a therapist with expertise in recovery
- Leaning into exercise routines like running or yoga to increase your endorphins and relieve your stress
- Trying a treatment modality like acupuncture
- Participating in activities that provide physical feedback, like a cold plunge
- Focusing on your diet and foods that support brain health
- Finding, building, and maintaining community
Padlo adds that having a solid body and mind routine helps tremendously with his recovery journey.
“I’ve noticed that if I stop going to meetings, stop talking to my sponsor, stop doing the things that keep me healthy, I start to lose my ability to regulate emotions in a healthy way,” he says. “And conversely, when I’m doing those things, I have much more control over that.”
Overcoming Emotional Sobriety Challenges
Much like with a person’s physical sobriety, maintaining emotional sobriety is not a one-time experience. Sahba says that, from her prior work experience, she’s seen social pressures that can knock one’s emotional sobriety off-course.
Most of these pressures stem from social relationships with peers and a fear of rejection. “Wanting to seek approval from others and being willing to sacrifice emotional sobriety or their own like sanity to please others,” Sahba notes.
She adds that some of her clients in long-term recovery say that physical sobriety turned out to be the easier part of the equation. “Knowing how to communicate with other people, knowing how to set healthy boundaries, knowing how to take care of myself mentally and emotionally,” is more of a challenge, she notes.
Relationships Can Help
On the other hand, Kennedy recommends leaning into relationships to maintain emotional sobriety over time.
“Once you have done the work to achieve it, maintaining it requires practice sharing your feelings with others, tuning into your own emotional need, and even asking others for feedback on how you are doing,” she says. The ultimate goal is to operate from a more peaceful emotional state, so you can cope with whatever life throws your way.
Resources That Can Support Your Recovery
There is a wide variety of resources available related to emotional sobriety, including:
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
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Stellern J, Xiao KB, Grennell E, Sanches M, Gowin JL, Sloan ME. Emotion regulation in substance use disorders: a systematic review and meta‐analysis. Addiction. 2023;118(1):30-47. doi:10.1111/add.16001
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Snoek A, McGeer V, Brandenburg D, Kennett J. Managing shame and guilt in addiction: A pathway to recovery. Addictive Behaviors. 2021;120:106954. doi:10.1016/j.addbeh.2021.106954
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Yang XY, Yang NB, Huang FF, Ren S, Li ZJ. Effectiveness of acupuncture on anxiety disorder: a systematic review and meta-analysis of randomised controlled trials. Ann Gen Psychiatry. 2021;20(1):9. doi:10.1186/s12991-021-00327-5
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