These days my Instagram feed is full of people who have decided to eliminate alcohol from their lives—tallying their days without a sip of booze and touting the benefits of a sober lifestyle. I find myself scrolling through these posts with genuine interest—and a tiny pang of guilt as I sip my Friday night martini.
I’ve always been someone who enjoys alcohol in moderation—drawn less to the buzz and more to the ritual of convening with friends and celebrating special (or even ordinary) occasions. I love how drinks can be a way to connect to different cultures and enjoy discovering the specific libations unique to each place I travel. As I began to make cocktails at home, it intrigued me how the right ingredients, in the right amounts, could create a balanced, delicious, and memorable libation.
Lately, though, it feels like my simple pleasure has fallen out of cultural favor, as wellness influencers promote alcohol-free living not just as a personal choice, but a moral one. And they’re intent on recruiting others—creating carousel posts that list off the reasons you too might want to consider giving up alcohol with the promise of a better life on the other side. To me, it feels like a form of performative wellness—like “clean eating” or the never-miss-a-Monday mindset—that leaves little room for imperfection. You’re either enlightened or indulgent, no middle ground allowed.
“We’re completely inundated all day every day with messages about our bodies and lifestyles. It only takes a 10-second doom scroll to feel like you’re not good enough, not doing enough or behind in life,” Kri Gore, LMFT, a Philadelphia-based psychotherapist tells SELF. “If you find yourself in a thought spiral about sober lifestyles and how alcohol is poison, remind yourself how all of these external messages aren’t taking your unique self into account. You know yourself best.”
That’s easy to say, but trickier to put into practice as the pressure to accept a sober-curious lifestyle comes in from all sides. These days mocktails steal the spotlight on restaurant menus, Dry January is practically mandatory in some circles, and the US drinking rate is at an all-time low, especially among younger adults. Of course, there are good reasons for this—primarily that in 2023, the World Health Organization declared that there is no amount of alcohol that is safe for our health. After years of being told that light alcohol consumption was beneficial, new research emerged linking it with early death and a number of conditions, including cancer and cardiovascular disease.
