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    Hywhos – Health, Nutrition & Wellness Blog
    Tuesday, April 7
    Hywhos – Health, Nutrition & Wellness Blog
    Home»Wellness»Connecting Beyond What May be Obvious
    Wellness

    Connecting Beyond What May be Obvious

    8okaybaby@gmail.comBy 8okaybaby@gmail.comApril 7, 2026No Comments4 Mins Read
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    Connecting Beyond What May be Obvious
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    Conflicts and difficulties on worksites are not uncommon. They can be small personal differences between two workers, or they can occur between groups. When such issues are unresolved, they can interfere with workplace culture, productivity, general enjoyment of work, and safety.

    Recently, I spent four days on a significant construction site. I was invited there to support management through some troubling communication difficulties between the managing contractor and some of the subcontractors. What’s more, there appear to be a degree of distrust among different areas of the “white collar” crews on the job.

    The project manager and the head of safety were deeply concerned that safety protocols were not being followed due to alarming misalignment on the project. In industries like construction, where there are so many moving parts, larger numbers of people, heavy machinery and often large objects overhead, safety protocols and streamlined alignment are critical.

    A spanner, accidently dropped from the 15th floor can injure or kill. Poor area planning can limit clear visibility of relevant risk factors, which may result in accidents, injury or equipment damage.

    When I arrived, we sat down for a many of conversations with the various groups contributing to the project, and discovered multiple factors, that once clarified, led us out of confusion. We found a way to get everyone aligned. It was an amazing experience.

    Along the way, we resolved something so incredible it left me shaking my head for days.

    The head of safety for one of the subcontractors was extremely negative and resistant. He didn’t see why he needed to comply with the managing contractor’s safety policies when he felt his were more than adequate. He had some genuine misunderstandings about the pressures coming from above the project manager and safety manager, but more importantly, they had some misunderstandings about him.

    We went into a meeting with he and his colleagues and he opened the meeting by saying that this was a “shit project” and that “nobody liked being here” and that “everyone couldn’t wait for it to be over”. Ok, we had our start point for the conversation. It was quite tense for a while, but we made some genuine progress.

    After the meeting I invited him to stay a moment for a chat on the way out. I thanked him for opening the meeting with such brutal honesty as it allowed us to get right to the point. He was a little dismissive, but I kept speaking. I could feel qualities in this man, and I said, “Mate you have a big heart. I can really see that in you.” He shrugged and I asked if he had kids. He told me he had 5, well 4 now. I was shocked and asked what he meant by that, and he told me his oldest daughter had taken her own life at the age of 19. He said, “She would be 33 now if she was still with us.”

    I could have cried right there and asked him how he handles such sadness, and he looked at me and said, “It’s there every single day mate!”

    I had my hand on his back by this time and I asked how his daughter’s mother was doing and he said, “She took her own life 2 years after that.”

    And there it was right there. This was not an aggressive man who was oppositional and angry. This was a man drowning in grief and had probably never had much support with it. It was so deeply heart breaking.

    I shared the information with the project manager and head of safety and I know they could feel remorse for their judgement on the man and their lack of efforts to create a genuine connection. The next morning the head of safety told me he had spent time with the man, and they had enjoyed their best connection yet and he could feel things were moving forward.

    It is a great lesson. We judge people on their behaviour without ever knowing their story. How well do you know the people on your project, or the men in your community? My chat with that man took less than 5 minutes.

    We can all take a moment to say, “Hello. We don’t know each other very well. I’d like to take time to share our stories.”

    John Toomey

    Initiative Global Chair

    Connecting Obvious
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    8okaybaby@gmail.com
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