- Feeling burned out by constant obligations? Embrace JOMO, or the joy of missing out.
- When you learn to say no, you have more time to focus on activities that restore you.
- In return, you’ll reduce stress, improve your health and strengthen your relationships.
January used to be like a personal marathon. After the whirlwind of the holiday season, you would think that I would crave rest. Instead, I’d hit the ground running, propelled by the electric hum of the new year. My calendar would fill up with a combination of social catch-ups, new professional goals and those all-too-ambitious resolutions. The phrase “let’s circle back after the New Year” turned my inbox into a minefield of obligations.
But all that frantic energy just left me feeling depleted and running on fumes before the first month was even over. Eventually, I hit a wall, both physically and emotionally. I realized that all the rushing around wasn’t just exhausting, it was robbing me of the joy I thought I was chasing.
Slowly, I gave myself permission to press pause and let myself off the hook without feeling guilty. The relief I felt the first time I declined an invitation or chose a quiet evening at home was eye-opening. It was in these small, intentional choices that I discovered something unexpected—joy. That’s when I fully embraced the joy of missing out, aka JOMO. When I did, I finally realized how much my body and mind needed this reset after the chaos of the holidays.
What Is JOMO?
JOMO is the opposite of its more famous, anxiety-inducing cousin, FOMO (the fear of missing out). It’s about finding contentment and peace in your decision to opt out. “The joy of missing out is when you feel content or happy from consciously choosing to miss an event,” says therapist Kelsey McVey, LCSW.
Many of us are familiar with the pull of FOMO. “Many people struggle with FOMO, which can stir up anxiety, sadness, frustration and constant comparison,” McVey explains. “When we get stuck in a FOMO mindset, we lose touch with the present moment, making everything feel heavier and more overwhelming.”
JOMO offers an antidote. It’s a conscious choice to disengage from the noise and pressure to be everywhere and do everything. “The joy of missing out can be quite empowering because it gives you back a sense of control over your time and energy,” McVey says. “Sometimes it’s not even power that we are seeking, rather it’s permission to opt out without guilt and to genuinely enjoy the time we reclaim by not attending an event.”
Benefits of Embracing JOMO
Choosing to miss out isn’t just about reclaiming your time. It’s a powerful act of self-care with multiple benefits.
Reduced Stress and Burnout
The holidays, while wonderful, can be a pressure cooker of social obligations and expectations. JOMO provides a much-needed release valve. “Embracing the joy of missing out, especially during or after the holidays, allows us to set healthy boundaries and survive this time with less stress and burnout,” says therapist John Sovec, M.A., LMFT. By giving yourself permission to say no, you take charge of your schedule and reduce the mental load that comes with over-commitment.
This shift doesn’t just feel good. It has measurable health benefits. If practicing JOMO reduces the stress in your life, you may support key areas of your physical and mental well-being, such as better cognitive, cardiovascular, metabolic and immune health.,,,
Better Boundaries
Practicing JOMO is an exercise in setting and honoring your personal limits. It’s about listening to your body’s cues, whether for rest, nourishing food or simply a quiet moment, instead of overriding them to meet external expectations.
It’s a fundamental change in perspective. “It’s not about isolating or giving up. It’s about recognizing your limits, honoring your values and feeling at peace with the fact that you don’t have to be everywhere, all the time, to have a full life,” says psychiatrist Barbara Sparacino, M.D. By embracing this mindset, you give yourself permission to prioritize what truly matters, rather than spreading yourself too thin.
Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re used to saying yes to everything. Yet, over time, it can become an act of self-respect and self-care, allowing you to show up more fully for the people and activities that align with your values. JOMO isn’t about missing out. It’s about choosing joy in the moments that matter most.
Improved Relationships
One of the unexpected benefits of practicing JOMO is how it can strengthen your relationships. By stepping back from the constant pressure to say yes to every event or invitation, you create space for more meaningful and intentional connections and show up for the people in your life with genuine energy and presence.
My friends know that I practice JOMO, and they understand that when I say yes to plans, it’s because I truly want to be there. This has made my “yes” feel more valuable and authentic, deepening the trust and understanding in my relationships.
JOMO can do more than improve your relationships with others. “JOMO can also strengthen your sense of self-worth and authenticity,” says Sparacino. “When you choose based on your values instead of fear of missing out, you send your brain a quiet but powerful message: ‘My needs matter. I don’t have to earn my place by overextending myself.’”
Tips to Maximize JOMO
Ready to trade your fear of missing out for the joy of it? The key is to be intentional. “Practicing JOMO means you are missing out mindfully,” says McVey. It isn’t about becoming a hermit or flaking on your commitments. It’s about making conscious choices that align with your needs.
If that sounds good to you, these tips can help you embrace JOMO:
- Practice a guilt-free “no.” You don’t need a long, elaborate excuse. A simple “Thank you for thinking of me, but I won’t be able to make it” is enough.
- Reengage in restorative activities. Spend your reclaimed time doing things that genuinely restore you, like reading a book, taking a long bath or simply enjoying the silence.
- Focus on what truly matters. Reflect on your values and priorities, and let them guide your decisions. When you focus on what aligns with your goals and well-being, it becomes easier to let go of unnecessary obligations.
- Tune in to your motivation. “The important nuance is that JOMO is about intentional rest, not avoidance,” says Sparacino. “If you feel relief because you honored your limits and chose a quiet night in, that’s healthy.” However, if you feel relieved because you are uncomfortable with social situations or are feeling depressed, you may want to reevaluate your motives.
Our Expert Take
Embracing JOMO—or the joy of missing out– is more than just a lifestyle shift. It’s a profound act of self-care that may transform how you approach your time, energy and relationships. By consciously choosing to step back from the noise and pressure of constant activity, you create space for what truly matters. Whether it’s prioritizing your health, deepening your relationships or simply finding joy in the quiet moments, JOMO allows you to live with greater intention and authenticity. It’s not about missing out. It’s about opting into a life that aligns with your values and brings you peace.
