Key Takeaways
- Nervous habits, like fidgeting or stumbling over words, might mean someone likes you.
- Pay attention to context, as nervousness could be about stress or personal issues, not romantic interest.
- If you’re unsure about their feelings, directly ask them to clear the air.
Navigating the subtle signs of romantic interest can feel like decoding a secret language. Maybe you’ve noticed your crush fidgeting with their sleeves or stumbling over their words when you’re around. And it’s kind of cute when they do it, honestly! But does this mean they’re into you? Or are they just a bit anxious in general?
We’ve all been there, and we’ve all Googled these exact questions before. We wonder if the little things mean something bigger, overanalyzing someone’s facial expressions, pondering whether their emoji use means they’re into you.
While nervous habits can definitely be clues, they can also be tricky to interpret. So, let’s break it down and figure out whether those nervous habits are a sign your fantasies about this person could turn into reality.
What Makes a Nervous Habit?
Nervous habits are those little behaviors people tend to do without even realizing it—like fidgeting, avoiding eye contact, or shifting in their seat. They’re just our natural reactions to feeling uncomfortable or excited.
Feeling nervous around someone you’re into is completely normal, says Hannah Owens, LMSW, former mental health clinician and editor at Verywell Mind. “Feeling a romantic interest in somebody can be anxiety-inducing—you don’t know if they reciprocate the feelings, and you’re focused on making a good first impression, which can be nerve-wracking,” Owens says.
Nervous habits in romantic settings might differ from general anxiety in that they often centered on one’s looks, says Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist. For example, they might nervously adjust their clothes or smooth their hair.
Hannah Owens, LMSW
Feeling a romantic interest in somebody can be anxiety-inducing—you don’t know if they reciprocate the feelings…which can be nerve-wracking,
— Hannah Owens, LMSW
Common Nervous Habits That Might Mean They’re Into You
Nervous habits can definitely be a sign of romantic interest. But what do these habits look like?
Here are some common examples:
- Fidgeting with objects or clothing: Adjusting their outfit or playing with something nearby could be a way to channel that nervous energy.
- Touching their face or hair: They may be subconsciously trying to make sure they look good.
- Blushing or sweating: These are classic signs that emotions are running high.
- Stammering or stumbling over words: When nerves take over, the words might not come out as smoothly as intended.
- Nervous laughter: Laughing—even when nothing’s particularly funny—can be a way to diffuse tension.
- Avoiding or maintaining intense eye contact: Depending on their personality, they might avoid eye contact out of shyness, or lock eyes to build a deeper connection.
- Talking way more or way less than usual: Some people get chatty when they’re anxious, while others might avoid talking too much because they’re self-conscious.
Of course, nervous habits can differ from one person to the next.
Do These Little Behaviors Mean They Like Me?
Okay, so they’re nervous. But why? Is it because they like like you, or could it be something else—like general anxiety, stress, or a personal issue?
Dr. Romanoff suggests paying attention to context. “If you know the person is a competent communicator and is relaxed and calm in other areas of their life, you may conclude that their signs of anxiety when around you may be indicative of their romantic interest in you,” she says.
According to Owens, romantic interest might manifest as someone unconsciously shifting closer to you, as well as adjusting their appearance. “These differ from more general signs of anxiety that are more self-effacing, like nail-biting, or that are more focused on creating boundaries between yourself and the source of the anxiety, like crossing your arms in front of your stomach,” Owens says.
You might also want to consider contextual factors, like:
- Setting: Are you in a place that tends to make people nervous? A formal dinner or a busy crowd can spike anyone’s anxiety.
- Life events: Is something else going on in their life that might be causing stress? Work deadlines or personal issues could explain their nerves.
- Personality: Some people are naturally more anxious, so their nervous habits might not have anything to do with romantic feelings.
It’s important to remember, though, that everyone expresses nervousness in their own way—there are no hard-and-fast rules here. A person might bite their nails when they like you, while another might frequently smooth their hair because they’re self-conscious about skipping wash day. The key is to look for patterns and context over time.
Practical Tips for Responding to Nervous Habits
So, you’ve noticed someone showing nervous habits around you. How can you respond in a way that puts them at ease?
Consider What You Want
Regardless of their feelings towards you, it’s important to consider your own feelings.
Do you have romantic feelings for them, too? If so, how would you like things to play out? Would you feel comfortable making a move?
Remember, you’re not obligated to return someone’s romantic interest. Even if they’re kind and wonderful, it’s okay if you just don’t reciprocate those feelings.
Ask Them About Their Feelings
If you’re still not sure whether they’re interested in you or not, it’s best to straight-up ask them how they feel. Being direct can help you clear the air.
If saying “Hey, do you have a thing for me?” feels too intense, try something lighter, like, “You seem a little nervous—everything okay?”
Opening up a conversation gives them a chance to share their feelings, and it takes the guesswork out of the situation.
Who knows—maybe they’re nervous because they’re dealing with some general life stress, in which case, they could probably use a sympathetic ear.
Share Your Own Feelings
Try to be open and clear about your feelings towards them, no matter what those feelings are.
“Not having to worry about trying to decipher your feelings can create a more open atmosphere that fosters clearer communication and requires less guesswork,” says Owens.
“If you are sensing that the person you are talking to or flirting with is engaging in some nervous habits, the best thing you can do for them is to make it clear that you are interested in them,” Owens says. This could be through flirty body language or by simply telling them how you feel.
Whether through words or actions, reassuring them that you’re enjoying their company can work wonders.
Create a Supportive Environment
Whether you’re romantically interested in them or not, it’s a good idea to respond with empathy and kindness. Having a crush can be exciting, but it can also feel very nerve-wracking and confusing.
If you sense they’re struggling with nerves, allow space for them to open up at their own pace. A little patience and validation can go a long way.
“You can help soothe their anxiety by providing reassurance that they are liked and you are having a good time,” Romanoff says. For example, you could provide positive verbal affirmations and use open, warm body language.
Romanoff also suggests showing clear interest in the conversation—for example, engaging in active listening, asking open-ended questions, and following up on their comments with interest.
