Welcome to Money Rx, SELF’s monthly financial checkup that goes beyond the numbers. Each month, financial educator Tiffany Aliche—a.k.a. The Budgetnista—explores the emotional side of money, diagnoses common money stressors, and prescribes practical, judgment-free solutions for budgeting, saving, debt, and wealth building formulated to support lasting financial health.
Grief is expensive.
Sometimes it arrives with a devastating phone call. Sometimes it shows up quietly after a relationship ends, a career disappears, or a future you were building suddenly dissolves. But no matter how it enters our lives, grief certainly has a cost. And it often shows up in places we don’t expect, including our finances.
A personal loss, a universal experience
After losing my husband Jerrell suddenly to a brain aneurysm in November 2021, I came face to face with the realities of grief and loss. One of the first financial decisions I had to make, while still very much in shock, was freezing his credit. Not because he had debt issues, but because my financial advisor warned me that people sometimes scan obituaries, betting on the fact that grief makes you distracted. I remember thinking: I can barely breathe, and I’m already being asked to protect myself from identity theft.
That moment became my introduction to the collision between grief and money. And while my loss was the loss of a beloved spouse, grief is not exclusive to widowhood. Because while the circumstances may differ, the financial weight of grief is something many of us carry, whether we’re mourning a spouse, a parent, a sibling, a close friend, the end of a relationship, or even the loss of a life we thought we’d have. Our relationships help to shape our financial lives. So when they end, suddenly or slowly, money feels the aftershocks too.
One thing I learned quickly is that the cost of grief extends far beyond funeral expenses or legal paperwork. Grief taxes your mind. Decision fatigue sets in. Brain fog becomes real. Tasks that once felt simple like opening mail or paying bills can feel insurmountable. Emotionally, there’s anxiety, numbness, guilt, and sometimes a quiet pressure to “hold it together.” Financially, that can look like missed deadlines, avoidance, reactive spending, or complete paralysis.
Grief can drain your capacity before it ever drains your bank account.
The hidden costs of grief
Money doesn’t just reflect our relationships, it absorbs their fractures.
