You need to strike a careful balance between keeping your child safe and allowing them to live fully. Here’s how you can do that.
Talk About It (in an Age-Appropriate Way)
“Many parents avoid talking with their children about anaphylaxis to protect them from anxiety, but avoiding these conversations can actually increase worry,” says Hubbard. Make a point of having these conversations, and use calm, gentle language. For instance, say, “Peanuts can make your body very sick,” instead of “Peanuts can kill you.” Books, role-play, and stories can also help children understand allergies in a way that builds confidence, rather than fear, she says.
Focus on What Your Child Can Do
Rather than stressing to your child what they must avoid, help them build confidence through actions they can take to stay safe.
Practicing allergy safety, such as always carrying epinephrine, communicating clearly, following the emergency plan, and reading ingredient labels, can help your child feel prepared and capable. “These routines allow children and caregivers to engage with the world confidently, rather than avoid it,” says Voorhees.
Teach Your Child to Be the Expert on the Allergy They Have
The more your child knows about managing their allergy, the better. Here are some skills you can teach them, so they feel prepared — not panicked:
- Show them how to respond in situations where the allergen is present. For example, you might practice staying calm near stinging insects.
- Practice how to say, “I’m allergic to …” in different settings.
- Teach them to notice early signs of a reaction.
- Show them how to use an epinephrine trainer device, so they’re familiar with how it works.
Practice Calming Techniques Together
After a reaction, or simply when fear of a reaction creeps in, your child may feel shaky or on edge. When this happens, “Grounding exercises help shift the body from ‘fight or flight’ to ‘rest and digest,’” says Hubbard.
Try simple techniques, such as the 5-4-3-2-1 sensory method: Identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. Ask the allergist or a mental health provider for more age-appropriate strategies if you need them.
