If you’ve already tried my grandfather’s unhinged tuna salad or the chaos sandwich he ate for lunch nearly every day growing up, then you understand what you’re getting yourself into by reading this. If not, welcome to the wacky world of a former mess hall cook’s shenanigans, as told by his granddaughter, who misses him dearly and would give anything to make a cup of Swiss Miss coffee with him again.
It’s awards and playoffs season, which means party veggie trays are in full force to balance out all the treats. And every time I pile a plate sky high with baby carrots and ranch, I remember my grandfather’s twist on the traditional veggie dip. It wasn’t really dip at all—just an easy, DIY salad dressing.
It’s a weird one. And yet it makes complete sense.
My Grandfather’s 2-Ingredient Salad Dressing
A raw veggie hated to see my grandfather coming. Carrot sticks were a routine sandwich lunch side when I’d visit my grandparents—but so were raw yellow squash sticks. Yes, really. Technically, you can eat yellow squash raw. Though, for most humans, that’s going to be a seriously rough ride for your digestive track. But my grandfather loved squash sticks.
Jason Donnelly/Meredith
However, the man hated ranch. There was nary a bottle in my grandparents’ fridge. Instead, my grandfather made a different kind of veggie dip to complement squash sticks. And I grew up thinking this recipe was totally normal—until I spent time at friends’ homes—ranch homes—and discovered the magic that is Hidden Valley. When people would ask what I normally dip veggies in, my grandfather’s creation seemed to trouble them.
Here’s the recipe: Italian dressing mixed with mayo. And sorry, I’m not talking about real mayo. I’m talking about Miracle Whip, aka salad dressing. And I don’t mean a dollop. I mean 50-50, equal parts.
Blaine Moats/Dotdash Meredith
I know, I know. It sounds like a lot of nonsense—but it’s really good. It’s perfectly creamy and tangy in a way that ranch will never be. Sometimes, ranch just smothers veggies, upstaging any actual flavor. The Italian dressing, however, lifts and brightens a sweet radish or a crisp snow pea. And while I literally can’t stomach raw squash, I love this dip with baby carrots or as a salad dressing with kale.
Now, in full transparency, I do not make this dip with Miracle Whip. I grew up and switched my allegiance to real mayo—specifically Duke’s. And while my grandfather used a generic Italian dressing from the local Sav-Mor, I opt for Ken’s Steakhouse Italian Dressing.
When I started writing this, I thought it would still be considered bizarre. However, it turns out that my grandfather wasn’t so wacky—at least with this recipe—after all. Adding mayo to Italian dressing is one of the most common ways to make it creamy. And the science tracks. Mayonnaise is an emulsifier. So, it binds the oil and vinegar in Italian dressing, creating a more consistent flavor and texture in every bite or with every dip.
My grandfather was nothing if not consistent. I think he’d be amused to learn that adding mayo to Italian dressing is actually fairly common. Of course, he wouldn’t make it fancy like some of the recipes we have on Allrecipes for Creamy Italian Dressing. No, I can still picture him sitting at the kitchen table with a plastic Dixie cup—which looked so tiny in his hand—stirring together a fresh serving of salad dressing using a piece of raw squash like a paint stick.
